217 AD: Shortly after his 29th birthday, the cruel and despised Roman Emperor Caracalla was assassinated. He had ruled for six years. A quest began for his successor.
A 14-year-old first cousin once removed was found. He was a Syrian priest named Varius Avitus Bassianus, but he was known as Elagabalus. His name was derived from the sun god Elagabal, whom he worshipped. His ambitious grandmother asserted that Elagabalus was the bastard son of Caracalla, which was a lie. But Romans believed it because the lad bore a resemblance to Caracalla.
The effeminate teenager was named the new Roman emperor. His short reign was very odd.
His first act was to have a meteorite from his home city transported to Rome. A temple was built expressly for the black rock. Elagabalus declared that all citizens should praise it as he did. Romans worshipped Jupiter, so the edict came as a shock. The emperor forced the Senate to watch as their new emperor performed evocative dances around the holy rock.
Elagabalus’ sexual appetite knew no bounds. As a horny teenager, he had sex with anyone who moved - female or male - all the time. Elagabalus hosted orgies in rooms overflowing with rose petals. He was said to give political appointments based on nothing more than penis size.
According to his biographer, Cassius Dio, Elagabalus would disguise himself as a woman and carouse taverns at night where he would seduce unsuspecting men while pretending to be a prostitute. They didn’t know they were having sex with their young emperor.
Elagabalus’ extravagant wardrobe would have made a modern cross-dresser green with envy. He wore gold-laden dresses and shoes covered in jewels. He wore heavy makeup and wigs and preferred to be called domina rather than dominus - lady instead of lord.
Elagabalus was incredibly generous and routinely gave outrageous gifts. At dinner parties, the spoons with which guests ate bore an engraving of the gift they would receive that evening - camels, bears, ostriches, gold, lead, or a dozen eggs. When traveling through Rome, he would toss coins into the crowd. Sometimes he gave away slaves.
At Circus Maximus, he demanded chariot races with elephants and camels.
Elagabalus married a Vestal Virgin, which was taboo, the equivalent of marrying a Catholic nun. During his short rule, he married four times.
After four years, his fellow Romans had grown to despise him. The powers-that-be decided the outrageous Elagabalus had to go. Even his own grandmother plotted to oust him. She talked him into adopting a 12-year-old cousin as a son, thereby providing a successor whom the woman could control.
Fearful that the adopted son put his own life in danger, Elagabalus attempted to have the boy killed. But he failed and hid in his bathroom with his mother. His own bodyguards found him and executed both Elagabalus and his mother.
The late emperor’s lifeless body was dragged through Rome and unceremoniously dumped into the river. The reign of Elagabalus was over, and no one mourned.
Little is remembered about him because of a Roman practice called damnatio memoriae - literally ‘condemnation of memory’ - in which unpopular rulers were purposefully expunged from their history books. Elagabalus wasn’t the worst emperor but he’s believed to be the only transgender Roman ruler in history.
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