Hot dog eating contests: Gross. It’s like watching someone vomit in reverse.
Halloween decorations in September: Hey, kids, patience is a virtue. Now hurry up and string those fake cotton spider webs before October.
Man buns: The hipster’s version of the mullet. Soon to be an anachronism. When you guys turn fifty and look back on old photos, you are really gonna cringe.
Palm readers as a recognized business: If you pay for this bullshit, your prosperity line will get a little shorter.
Vocal fry: An annoying manner of speech endemic among Millennials. Listen to reporters on This American Life for an example. The sound of an entire generation’s lack of self-esteem.
Pennies: So useless that you feel guilty giving them to the homeless.
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