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Writer's pictureDan Spencer

Things That Should Go Away, Vol. 2

  1. Hot dog eating contests: Gross. It’s like watching someone vomit in reverse.

  2. Halloween decorations in September: Hey, kids, patience is a virtue. Now hurry up and string those fake cotton spider webs before October.

  3. Man buns: The hipster’s version of the mullet. Soon to be an anachronism. When you guys turn fifty and look back on old photos, you are really gonna cringe.

  4. Palm readers as a recognized business: If you pay for this bullshit, your prosperity line will get a little shorter.

  5. Vocal fry: An annoying manner of speech endemic among Millennials. Listen to reporters on This American Life for an example. The sound of an entire generation’s lack of self-esteem.

  6. Pennies: So useless that you feel guilty giving them to the homeless.



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