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Writer's pictureDan Spencer

Things That Should Go Away, Vol. 4

1. Medications with a laundry list of side effects: If a drug alleviates one ailment yet could cause 19 others, that kinda negates the Hippocratic Oath.


2. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: What was once cute family fun is now a nightmare of commercialism. Keep the high school marching bands and the cartoon character balloons. But the happy-time floats for life insurance featuring an unknown pop star lip-synching an entirely forgettable ‘hit song?’ I'm not giving thanks for that.


3. Casinos: Damn near every county in North America has one by now. They’re as plentiful as Dollar Stores. How much blackjack can you play in one lifetime?


4. Self-driving cars: Nobody wants their vehicle to turn into HAL 2000, the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey. You don't wanna be in the backseat of an autonomous car that starts singing "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true..."


5. Vaping: Long ago, smoking was cool. Bogart looked almost handsome with a cigarette. Nobody looks cool vaping. You look like a college kid showing off his bong skills.


6. One-wheeled motorized skateboards: If you ride one of these things, just get a fucking wheelchair. You're gonna need one.



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